Superstar Profiles


Superstar Profiles
Extreme Report
Slash Series
Title History
TV Show Archives
PPV Archive


SWF Champion:

SWF Tag Team Champions:
Snooge Monkey & Edge (The Jersey Boys)

SWF Internet Champion:

SWF Hardcore Champion:
Mad Dog

Aesiron BrewGuy DVDA elcyberGoth/elgothicCyber
Gazz Gringo Loco JayGo KillaK
Pato The Patriot Phi Tau Ramo
Shocker spoon terrab0t TGR
The Wife Beater y2Jimb0

Music: "Points of Authority" - Linkin Park

Valet: SaiyanLuchadoress (Wife and tag team partner)

Apperance: Short, close cropped blackish brown hair, brown eyes, about 6'2".. 240ish lbs, Black tights of the sort HHH used to use but without his initials, black bbots, black knee guards

Key Moves: Superkick, Double Underhook Suplex, Northern Lights Suplex, Reverse Suplex, Floatover Belly to Belly suplex, Diving Reverse DDT, Face Buster, Full Nelson Atomic Drop, Release German Suplex, Dropkick to the face in a Tree of Woe position, Strangle Hold Gamma

Finisher: Iconoclasm (My opponent's up on the turnbuckle, facing the ring. I stand in front of him, also facing the ring.
I reach over my head, cross my opponent's arms, and slam him over my head to the mat)

During tag team bouts, SaiyanLuchadoress then either tags herself in or demands that I tag her in so that she can get the pinfall.

Titles Held: None.
Music: "Clique" - BrewGuy, "Aureole" - Blood Divine

Valet: Tybet (Because she's smaller and less stable than Chyna~!)

Apperance: 6'0", 234 lbs. (because every cool superstar used to weigh exactly 234 pounds: Shawn, Bret, Bulldog, Jeff Jarrett ...)

Key Moves: Nut Cluster, Acorn Driver and the Red-Eye Rampage, the Whaddamanuver

Finisher: Bad Pun Driver

Titles Held: None.
Music: "War" - Joe Satriani

Valet: None.

Apperance: 6'4", 330lbs. of the scariest lookin' guy in hockey gear you ever did see.

Key Moves: Shot Rock (a Blackman-esque kick to the groin), BrewThru (The Worm, only backwards)

Finisher: Brew Thunder (powerbomb converted into a piledriver)

Titles Held: SWF Tag Team (once)
Music: Some kinda cheesy porn music.

Valet: None.

Apperance: 6'4" 295lbs Shaved head, Black eyes, Tommy Cut off shorts, and a wife beater

Key Moves: Suplex's, Single arm DDT, Diving Spear, DV DROP (Death Valley Drop)

Finisher: DA DROP (Double arm Suplex into a bridge pin.)

Titles Held: None.
Music: "You Think You Know Me"

Valet: None

Apperance: 6'4, 240 lbs., long blond hair, nice teeth, patterned long pants of varying colours.

Key Moves: Spear, Edge-O-Matic, Northern Lights Suplex, Half Boston Crab

Finisher: Trenton Driver (Michinoku Driver)

Titles Held: SWF Tag Team (current)
Music: "Sugar Sugar" - the Archies/A cover of "Head Like a Hole" by Devo

Valet: none

Apperance: Some superhero lookin' motherfucker in a suit made of pudding cups. And a cape made of good will / black track pants, black gloves, spooky mask.

Key Moves: Pudding shot, The ROPE SPOT~!, PUDDING BATH~!, Totally random objects / EYERAKES~! Kicks to the groin, Tejas Cloverleaf, mat-based technical style.

Finisher: PUDDING PLEX~! (Ganso bomb) / STRETCH PLUM PUDDING~!

Titles Held: SWF Tag Team (once)
Music: "Theme from the Muppet Show"

Valet: None.

Apperance: 6' 2'', red shirt, sleeveless silver jacket, silver trousers with a red stripe on each side.

Key Moves: Gazzmission, Moonsault, German Suplex, Safety Pin (Roll Up)

Finisher: Cough Drop

Titles Held: SWF Hardcore Title (7 times), SWF Internet Title (once)
Gringo Loco
Music: "Dig" - Mudvayne

Valet: Vanessa

Apperance: 6'2, 222 pounds, wrestles in tear - away pants and a tight fitting shirt. Hair is a completely random style every day.

Key Moves: The Red Light! (A move where I jump up level to a guys head, and twist to the left, and kick them in the head). The Hit! (A really hard punch to the small of someones back). The Strip! (Sharpshooter combined with camel clutch). Dropsplash (A dropkick, except its not a kick, its a splash to the fool lying on the floor)

Finisher: The Grind! (Razors edge but opponent lands on face)

Titles Held: None
Music: British national anthem (God save our gracious Queen, long live our noble Queen, God save the Queen...) and then changing into 'Party Hard' by Andrew WK at that point.

Valet: None

Apperance: 6' 2", like Kurt Angle's attire.. only with British flag.

Key Moves: The 'Fish and Chips', the 'We Are Not Amused' moonsault, the 'Union Jack' (a la William Regal), the 'Empire Slam', and the ol' favourite of hitting someone with a barbed wire wrapped flaming 2x4.

Finisher: Stiff Upper Lip... puts opponent on shoulders, falls back, bouncing their neck against the ropes, then propelling forewards and driving their face into the canvas

Titles Held: SWF Hardcore Title (twice as JobberKid), SWF Internet Champion (once)
Killa K
Music: "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns N' Roses

Valet: None.

Apperance: Black jean-shorts, red t-shirt that says "KILLA K", black short-sleaved flannel over-shirt w/ "3:16" on back in red, black sneakers, black elbow pads and knee pads, wrist and hand tape

Key Moves: Killa Krossface (Crippler Crossface, duh), Phoenix Splash, Texas Cloverleaf, Killa DDT (Evenflow DDT), Wakamato Special '78, Yukiguni Driver B, Diamond Dust

Finisher: Killa Krusha (SSD on FirePro A)

Titles Held: None

Music: "Interzone" by The Tea Party

Valet: None

Apperance: 6' 4", Black T-shirt, Jean shorts, Black boots. Shades worn to ring, always sharply dressed for promos

Key Moves: Shot Rock (see BrewGuy's bio), Loosiesault, Walls of Loosie, Diving Headbutt

Finisher: Cannon Ball (Set up like powerbomb, except they land face down)

Titles Held: SWF Champion (current) SWF Tag Team (once)
Mad Dog
Music: Random, usually totally inappropriate. Past instances include Dancing Queen by Abba and Peaches by The Presidents of The United States.

Valet: None

Apperance: 6.1' and too many pounds. Fairly hairy, though haircut is short, and sometimes the head is shaved. Clothing is random, unexpected, inappropriate and frequently including a straw hat the side of a beach umbrella.

Key Moves: Likes to bring props to the fights, not all of them useful. Likes punches and anything that gives the opponent plenty of air time.

Finisher: Puddin' Crusher (choke slam followed by the squat o' doom (you figure it out))

Titles Held: SWF Hardcore Title (current)
Music: "Suedehead" - Morrissey

Valet: Ivory

Apperance: 6'5", Nice Shirt, Baggy Jeans

Key Moves: German Suplex, Spring Loaded Splash, Union Jack, Irish Powerbomb, Swanton Bomb, Sharpshooter

Finisher: PatoKick

Titles Held: SWF Champion (once), SWF Internet Title (once), SWF Hardcore Title (once)
The Patriot
Music: "Bad Moon Risin'" - CCR

Valet: Stacy Kiebler.

Apperance: 6'5", 271lbs, dressed like the picture

Key Moves: Liberator(Vertical suplex into a piledriver), Tazzplex, Anklelock, Belly-to-Belly, Five moves of DOOM!

Finisher: Uncle Slam(Full Nelson Bodyslam off the top rope) .

Titles Held: SWF Hardcore Title (4 times)
Phi Tau
Music: "Clint Eastwood" - Gorillaz

Valet: None.

Apperance: Tall, Big.

Key Moves: Irish Whip; Tilt-a-whirl slam; Chokeslam from the apron to the floor.

Finisher: Phireball (a real fireball)

Titles Held: SWF Champion (once)
Music: Similar to SUWA's but lyrics go: RAMO-O, RAM-O and so forth

Valet: None.

Apperance: Dark Blue Jeans, red Titans football jersey with RAMO on the back and the numbers 2653, white sneakers

Key Moves: the Backwards Street Cutter (Osaka Street Cutter)

Finisher: You can't (insert move here) RAMO~!

Titles Held: None.
Music: Intermission - Tool

Valet: None

Apperance: 6'0", 234 lbs.

Key Moves: None

Finisher: None

Titles Held: None.
Snooge Monkey
Music: Gasoline Dreams - Outkast

Valet: None.

Apperance: 6'1", 213lbs.

Key Moves: Bong Shot~!, The Snoogerizer~!(it’s like Muta mist, but it’s pot smoke), The Secret Stash~!(summersault kick to the chin), Dragon Sleeper, DDT, Death Drop DDT, Diving moonsault to the outside.

Finisher: Brodeurbomb~! (Rock Bottom)
Super Supreme SnoogerSault~! (phoenix splash)

Titles Held: SWF Internet Title (once), SWF Tag Team Title (current)
Music: Somewhere Over the Rainbow-Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

Valet: Steve the Monkey (dressed like Phi Tau)

Apperance: Black leather pants with a kitchen spoon on the side of the legs. Otherwise looks like Test.

Key Moves: The Monkey Spank(pumphandle slam that never connects(see Test)); the Irish Surfboard; the Punk Ass(full nelson drop)

Finisher: The Lactating Ass Weasel(Walls of Jericho)

Titles Held: None.
Music: "The National Anthem" - Radiohead

Valet: Blue Mary

Apperance: Silver and blue man with stunning protective eyewear.

Key Moves: Back Spinning Elbow, Head & Arm Submissions, Misc. fun with the ring bell, TERADR0P~! (Neck Drop), ST0~!, SHORT0UT~! (Reaches for opponent's head and POW! Bright flash, opponent drops to mat)

Finisher: BLACK0UT~! (Climbs turnbuckle, lights dim, launches at opponent and POW! Bright flash, lights go out.)

Titles Held: None.
Music: Fist of Rage by Kid Rock

Valet: Lita

Apperance: 6'8", 278lbs.

Key Moves: Punch, kick, iblockyourpunchyoudontblockmine(TM CRZ), spinebuster, Doomsday Drop(Picks up in reverse vertical suplex, then Jackhammers him so that they land on their face, Underhand Hook Punch, Godfather Kick, Suiside Headbutt, Phoenix Heat (wisper in the winds), Kick WHAM Stunner, Choke Slam, Laser Attack (Hart Attack), Decapatating opponent with CDs, Have a Grim Day Fingerbar (Grabs finger and twistes until tap out)

Finisher: Turtle Shell Piledriver

Titles Held: SWF Hardcore Title (once).
The Wife Beater
Music: “Real American”

Valet: Some random barefoot pregnant woman

Apperance: 6’10” 600 lbs. Three different costumes; the first is nothing but a pair of cammo pants, second, whitey-tighties, a wife beater (sometimes no shirt), bare foot. Third, denim shorts (like stone cold), torn up black tennis shoes with out socks, and a sleeveless “Don’t piss me off!” shirt a la Jeff Jarrett in the WWF. He’s a big fat guy with bleached blond hair, mullet of course, sometimes in a ponytail. A tattoo of a heart on his left arm, long side burns, and a five o’clock shadow. Sometimes a handle bar moustache.

Key Moves: Many, many punches, Spear, Head Butt, Power-bombs, and a Reverse Achilles Lock

Finisher: Jackknife Power-bomb

Titles Held: None.
Music: ThunderStruck-AC/DC

Valet: None

Apperance: Medium height, Baggy red Tajiri-esque pants, Long hair, goatee.

Key Moves: Various Kicks, JimboDriver(reverse DVD), Dragon Suplex, Swanton Bomb, Walls of Jimbo (Kanyon's reverse boston crab), TigerBomb

Finisher: Deadly Mist

Titles Held: SWF Tag Team (once), SWF Hardcore Title (10 times)